Inspiring Others w/my Naturality

Hey blogger family....just a quick post for you all today. Had something great happen to me at church yesterday, and I wanted to share with the group and hopefully inspire you as well :)

Yesterday, after church, a fellow parishioner stopped me to compliment me on my hair. Apparently, she has been noticing my uniqueness and versatility with hair styles (that I wear on Sunday) and felt compelled to speak with me. She mentioned that she had been talking about my hair for a couple of weeks now and finally her husband suggested that she talks stops talking behind my back (that was funny) and just ask me about my hair, regimen, etc ( isn't that interesting family).

She wanted to know what I do to my hair to have it look the way it does. See, she "tried" to go natural a few months ago and it didn't work. She only allowed herself to transition for like 3 months and then she gave up...again... She was intrigued by my style and wanted to know specifically what I am doing to maneuver it AND what products I used. It sounded like she was on the fence with deciding to try to transition to naturality again, so it was only fair to pitch the case for going natural :)

So of course I did a consultation..right there in the church pew. Lol. I spoke briefly about my journey and how you have to be serious to commit to changing your hair regimen (mentioning that shea butter is my staple product) and patient with letting your natural hair grow and develop. This is a life decision (well at least in my opinion) and you have to make sure you will commit to the changes your hair (and you pschologically) will experience. I gave examples of how I wanted to give up and how I had to have a "straight talk" with myself, my ego and my self esteem. Once I was able to accept myself (and all my fabulousness) it became easier to learn how to do my hair, look in the mirror and walk with confidence. I spoke about how those around you may not support your decision, but you have to remind yourself that you are doing this for yourself, not others.

I mentioned that you can't "run to the perm" when your hair doesn't look the way you want it to (like she did before). Doing this starts the transition all over again and really defeats the purpose of the transition. You need to accept how God made you and your hair, love it unconditionally and nurture it ALWAYS....remembering we were all created in his image. I also mentioned that you have to give your hair time to heal and in the end you will not regret your decision of going natural.

I ended the discussion on some economically, but effective store brand options to get her started. Also, I suggested some possible transitional/protective styles that she can do at home. Briefly (because I had to go) I mentioned the fact that transitioning is trial and error...you may do a style that doesn't turn out the way you want at first...but don't fret....the neat thing is that you can try try again :). We agreed to do a "check in" the next time I'm at service/get back into town. As her unofficial mentor, I plan to check in with her once I return from my week of travel. Lets keep our possible transitional sista lifted.

The reason for posting this.....you never know who is watching you and also how your naturality could possibly inspire others. I know the majority of us get regular compliments on our hair, the styles and probably our confidence as well. While this may seem a little annoying (super star status..lol), you never know why you are receiving the compliments. This is the third person who has inquired about my naturality AND has been inspired to transition to wearing their natural hair just by watching me and how I carry myself. To be honest family, that makes me feel really good inside.

So I ask all of my family on here....are you inspiring others to be all they can be (in general)? Are you carrying yourself in away that others will want to model the same POSITIVE behavior that you portray? These are the questions I ask and reflect on daily as part of my overall encouragement but also improvement family. Its nice to see that my intentional attitude/character development (behavior) is working not only for my betterment, but has inspired someone else to do better as well.

The orAKAle has spoken.........

"Holy Grail" Hair Day #2

Good Friday morning family!

Yes I know what you're thinking..."two post in one week...something must be up". Lol. YES SOMETHING IS UP...I had yet another "holy grail" like day with my hair this morning. Plus I was totally feeling myself as well (cue top model photo in 3 2 ----------------->).

Before I go into the toiling details of how I got this lovely style, I think today is a good lesson for all us women (natural or not...for I have diversity on my blog). You have to love yourself first before anyone else can. While others may see you as being full of yourself, now and then we need to look in the mirror and compliment ourselves. I am a firm believer that we need to speak over our lives and speak positiveness over ourselves and those we love (as well). God created us in his image....remember that.

Considering I am marking this post as my second ever "holy grail" hair day, of course I had to share with my blog family. You all are the reason I keep going with my hair....lol....no seriously. As for the routine, its the same as always. KBB's products are always used and I style once a week and utilize protective styling techniques to keep the hair moisturized and healthy in these cold months. To read about the products I use, click here and for my current routine, click here. I keep saying I am going to post my current regimen...but to be honest with you, it has changed since the above posting. I am using the same products that I've always used and I continue to sleep with a satin cap; along with be diligent in staying out of my hair on a day to day basis. Lol.

I absolutely love this clip in my head. To match it, I also purchased some dangling earrings (shown in pic) and a "blinged out" wanna ring. Family I have been trying for at least 6 months to properly install and rock this clip correctly. If I could not get the hair in the actual clip, it was lop sided, sticking out or just fall the heck out. I mean the list goes on and on with the drama I was having with this hair candy. WELL, clearly today was my day because as you will see it actually is in the right place AND so far it hasn't fallen out of my head (while in the middle of a meeting or presenting). I love the front side pull and clip look. With my type of hair (4A/B), to me its a real cute after 5 and professional look. I hope you all will think the same. Enough talk, below are the pictures. Please share your thoughts......

( I finally got that darn sparkly clip on the side of my head CORRECTLY...baby steps family..lol)


(the softer side of Silky....)

STRAIGHT HAIR PICS

Hey now SC family...how ya doing? Me, recovering from my over seas vacay...it was great.

As promised, I am posting pics of my hair after it was straightened for my trip. Please note, it has been over two years (well very close) since I have straightened my coils. Hair was longer than I thought...but I will let you all decided. Tell me what you think:

(wanna be side swoop....lol)

(back view.....hard to see the layering..bad lighting)


To maintain this style, I have been wrapping my hair at night with a satin scarf and applying Carol's Daughter Lisa's Hair Elixir once a day to keep it soft and to reset it. I loved how my natural layers fell!

Pics from my trip are forthcoming. Until then, the orAKAle has spoken......

Straightening the Hair

Hey all,

Just a quick post for you today. First, Happy New Year again ad I apologize for the absence but I am preparing for my international travel and work got me running. I hope you all can forgive me....:)

In case I didn't mention, I will be straightening my hair for my trip next week. Note - I have not straightened my hair AT ALL since deciding to go natural and stop with the chemicals, etc (over 17 months). I'm very excited about this and can't wait to see what my hair looks like blown out and straightened.

I plan to post pics of the straight hair after its done. Now, I am going to try my best to take them AND post before I leave, but you may have to wait until I get back.

Ok thats all for now. If you haven't done so, head on over to my Healthy Living Blog to get caught up on my recent cleansing and SOON pictures of weight loss success to date. Now I'm pushing it with trying to do all these blogs, posts AND prepare for my trip (lol), but I appreciate you all baring with me. Until next time.

the orAKAle has spoken.............

Naturality is NOT a life style.....or is it

(one of my fav natural hair photos)=====>

Hey Silky Chronicles family! Quick post/question for you today..... So I know a natural hair stylist who was discussing with one of her clients (a friend of mine) about being natural and this thing of it being a "life style". Her comments in general were that being natural is NOT a life style and people make it seem as though its like "coming out" to the world (in reference to those who identify themselves in the GLBT community). What she couldn't understand is all the hype on the web (really blogs like this one :) and some salons (in general) on the NEW phenomenon about going natural and embracing this "life style". She actually laughed at it and thought it was funny. See in her mind, we should not make a big deal about not straightening our hair, using chemicals/heat, etc...for its not anything new. Black women have been natural for years and this concept of "going natural" is really mainstream right now, but not anything deserving of all the attention its getting....

First let me say, she is not being negative by any means. She thinks its great to see more people embrace the texture God blessed them with and begin to stop letting others dictate who they should be. Its just that it was felt (not only by her....for I surveyed other natural women) that the blogging about hair, the huge media discussions on many talk shows (Chris Rock's movie "Good Hair") and the overwhelming promotion of products/what to and not to do is a bit much and uncessary.

What does Silky Coils say.....I think you all know the answer to that question. Lol. If you read back in previous post on here, it is evident that deciding to become natural was not a small thing for me; nor has continuing to grow and learn with my hair been easy. To me, it was scary and if I did not get comfortable about who I was FIRST, I was going to continue to allow others and society to dictate how I should look. Stepping out in public when I chopped my hair off was one of the most liberating, but also scary moments of my life...similar to when someone who decides to let the world know that they prefer the same sex versus the opposite. Some will have your back, others will persecute you....REAL TALK!!!

So of course I wanted to get my family to weigh in on the subject. You all have been so supportive of me and are filled with much wisdom. What do you all think? Are we making to much of a big deal about this whole "natural" thing? Is this a fade that will soon pass? Are we so insecure about who we are that we had to create this "natural hair world" thing to feel better about ourselves....your thoughts????

The orAKAle has spoken..........

Its my Nappaversary!

( DUDE my fro is huge)

A year ago on this date (well actually it was more like on November 13th), I decided to chop my hair off and start over. Lol. After about 8 months of transitioning (which was suppose to be longer...but I digress), I removed my first set of braids and had at it (with the scissors). Lol.

When I think back to my first initial response to my new look, I remember having thoughts of doubts and even wanting to cry. "What have I done" is a phrase that I remember saying over an over. See like most newbies, I was not totally sure of what I was getting myself into, but couldn't turn back..not now. After the support and love of many of you who follow me AND have their own blog at that, the journey became easier and a very liberating decision. To this date, I don't understand why I even doubted myself AND my natural black beauty.

At first, my family was a little shocked. Some snide comments here and there and a lot staring. Fast forward to the present day...nothing but compliments (even from those none nappy headed lovers). I have even had family members asking me how to help their children hair be as healthy and soft besides using the relaxer/perm method.....for convenience, manageability and cost savings....HA....who would have guest that.

Its amazing how one person can spark a new appreciation of what it means to be black AND what is beauty. This right here is why I decided to let go of the chemicals and heat. To be a beacon of hope and inspiration to all my naturalistas (especially my 4 A/C divas); that its ok to let your TRUE beauty shine threw when it comes to hair AND that you don't need to have it straightened to be accepted.

This journey has been a humbling one for me, and I am so thankful and appreciative that God had me embark on this journey now at this age, versus earlier (or later). Below are more pics I took to commemorate my new hair, looks and length to you...my family.

( ok so I was in the car trying to motivate myself to go into Walmart to shop...it was crazy)



( this is my favorite look)

To each of you, thank you so much for your love and support of me. More styles to come for you family.....

"Holy Grail" Hair Day

For those who REALLY follow the Silky Chronicles, already know that I posted an entry that dismissed the whole idea of "holy grail" hair....WELL family, I have to surrender because TODAY I had some absolutely perfect and gorgeous photos of a twist out set I did.

Take a look and tell me what you think:

All Twisted UP (current hair style)

As promised, below are pictures of my hair after taking my braids out. For those of you who may not remember, I wore a set of GORGEOUS braids fof about 2 1/2 months. Click here to see the results. I have never received so many compliments in my life on my hair, then when I had those braids. Definitely will be getting some again soon!

After the detangling fiasco of 2009 (lol) from removing those braids, I decided to do a protective style for the month of November and December. I must admit, I freaked out a little when cleansing my hair after having it braided up. I think the issues was the products I use. Luckily I had some of my staple products Karen's Body Beautiful handy to hook me up (look for a future post on my current hair regimen and products I use).

Take a look at the below pics and tell me what you think. The first 3 are of a wet twist set.

I usually wear this style for 1-2 weeks (depending on my schedule), cleansing the the scalp with Sea Breeze. It helps to keep the hair clean so I can wear them longer. So after wards, I untwist my head to get the below (please note no make up so no comments):

I'm so excited with my progress. My hair is growing faster than I anticipated and in great shape. Officially, I'm 17 months chemical free and 14 months ALL NATURAL. As always, I take criticism and suggestions. Tell me what you think all!


The orAKAle has spoken........

NEW HAIR PICS - I'm braided up

Hey family,

I totally forgot that I promised to show you pictures of me braided up. Please bare with me, for I literally broke my digital camera and currently working without one. I only was able to capture a few pictures before my camera said I'M DONE!!! Lol. There hasn't been any post on the natural hair subject due to me being braided up. Hope you enjoy them and tell me what you think:

not the best pic in the world (lop sided) but again my camera was literally dying as I was taking this. lol



this is a side view and a style that I wear often. You will see some highlights that I had added in randomly on my head.


I usually wear it pulled back like this or half up or half down. The picture I took of it all the way down did not come out right AND I will tell you its A LOT of hair. I've gotten nothing but compliments on it from a diverse group of people. I'm loving it!!

I have to give credit to my super fabulous stylist Ms. Anta. She can be found a the nationally known natural hair shop "Napps". If you are in the Missouri area and want braids, she is worth the drive to the STL to get em done...she is the truth.


The orAKAle has spoken......................

Dry Twist Set

To bring some diversity to my blog on natural hair, I wanted to share a quick post on a DIFFERENT type of twisting I also use. Its called a dry twist set (which eventually turns into a twist out...but I will go more into that below). This is a style that many natural hair stylist does for those transitioning, but can also work with total naturalistas as well!



To get this look all I did was cleanse my hair as usual (check out "Current Hair Regimen" for specifics) but instead of double strand twist while hair is wet/soaked, I actually blow out my hair. The key is to get it totally dry and as "straight" as your texture can get. I highly recommend you seal your hair (after blowing out) with a very light oil/moisturizer to protect the hair. I use my staple product Shea Butter.



I take my favorite twisting product (in the pictures below I used a mixture of unrefined shea butter, coconut oil and olive oil) and put a medium amount all over the head.....and I start twisting. I only use more product if I think my twist aren't taking....but usually I have no issues. Below are the results of dry twisting the hair:




My sister actually did this one for me! I gotta be economical ya'll...we are in a recession (ok I will let it go...lol). Not bad for an amateur job huh.......



I've learned that the key is to evenly distribute the twisting product (not much is needed) from root to ends (then possible using a little more for my "special" ends) and twist as close as possible to the root down to the ends. Depending on your skills and length of your hair, this can take from 30-45 minutes to complete. Professional stylist can do this for you as well, but it may run you from $55-100!!!! I suggest mastering this on your own. Lol.


I usually wear my hair in these twists for at least a week (max two). After wards I take either my favorite essential oils to separate out the twist into two parts. To see pictures of the results of this style, check out my Current Hair Regimen post pics here.


So your girl is getting braided up this weekend for the next 2-3 months. I will post some pics of the outcome next week (hopefully). Once the braids come out, I will be at my 1 year Nappaversary (is that a word....lol)!!! I'm very excited to see how far I've come in the past 12 months, and plan to do a tribute post to my success.


For those who've been asking, I plan to seriously update my Fotki (Ms. Silky Coils if you want to subscribe) REALLY soon! Lol. I guess since starting this blog, I don't see a need to have that account, for I post all updates and styles (that I can remember to do) on here. I mean....who has time to really update 3-4 different sites...lol...I sure don't.


the orAKAle has spoken.......

Hair Myths - Holy Grail & "Ethnic Hair"

Hey family! With keeping my promise of providing more information on natural hair topics, I came across a GREAT post from hair stylist and curly hair expert Tiffany Anderson. This article speaks mountains for us coily, curly and kinky sistas of all shapes and colors. Don't be fooled and stop running around sounding crazy....there is no such thing as "the holy grail" curls. Read and learn...I sure did :)

Hair Myths?

We now interrupt this blog for two small conversations that will most likely result in having lots of things thrown at me...or a collective belief that I have gone over the edge and no longer have the slightest idea what I'm talking about.

But as I've said before...I am not nor will I ever be 100% right 100% of the time. My thoughts, posts and advice are based on what I believe and observe from my professional training and my professional career as a hair stylist and curly hair specialist. If it works for someone, that's great. If it doesn't and something else works better, then that's great too. But I'm largely Italian, which means I'm always going to open my mouth when I have something to say, LOL. And there have been two topics on my mind lately I feel I need to address.

#1 - There is No Such Thing as "The Holy Grail"
Many curly girls get obsessed with finding what is known among us as "The Holy Grail" for their curls - that mythical, miraculous, one-of-a-kind, priceless treasure of a product that will give us impeccable, frizz-free, red carpet curls--the kind that always snap back into perfect ringlets even in the worst rain, hail, humidity, sleet and hurricane-force winds known to mankind.

The good Lord knows, I was on an HG quest myself for eons and there are times I still find myself falling into that trap. Even when I find a product combination that makes me look great 99% of the time, I'll catch myself thinking: sure, my curls look great...but what if I stop looking now and that one great product--that one single elixir of magical fairy tales--is just over the hill? And what if I never find it because I was happy with "second best" and I stopped looking too soon? It was enough to drive any curly girl to drink.

It was with a mixture of relief and sadness that I finally came to the conclusion--after doing hundreds and hundreds of curly heads, and studying reams of information on hair type and product ingredients--that, despite our greatest hopes and wishes, that mythical "Holy Grail"

just. doesn't. exist.

Yes, there are products that are great for our hair and will work wonders the vast majority of the time, sometimes even 99% of the time. There are products with ingredients that love our particular hair type--our texture, our porosity, our elasticity--and will make our curls look the absolute best they can possibly be.

For a time.

But ...

Hair type changes over time. Texture changes, porosity changes, elasticity changes. Weather changes. The chemical composition of your water changes. Hormones change. Medical conditions change. If there is one thing we can count on in the crazy world of curly hair, it is change. And that means no product is going to work 100% the best 100% of the time.

The same product might work almost as great, but from the bottom of my heart I do not and will never believe one single product can unfailingly give you what I call "red carpet curls"...the perfect, rockin' kind of curls that make any Hollywood A-lister turn around and think jealously, "I want HER hair." Unless you live in an environment and in a body where absolutely nothing changes, the Holy Grail will have to remain the myth it is.

Incidentally, that's why it is all the more important to understand your hair type and your environment and, subsequently, what product ingredients work the best for your particular situation. There might not be a single Holy Grail...but that doesn't mean there can't be a foundational core of products that act in tandem with each other to give you red carpet curls all the time.

#2 - There is No Such Thing as "Ethnic Hair"
Didn't see that one coming, did you?

I get a lot of questions on whether or not I know how to handle "ethnic hair" or about the special needs of ethnic hair. And I'm here to tell you there is no such thing. Hair is hair is hair. Period.

Your hair is fine, medium or coarse. Your hair is porous, overly porous, or has low porosity. Your hair has normal elasticity or low elasticity. Your hair is thin, medium or thick. It does not matter what your ethnic background is. Fine, porous, elastic, thick hair is fine, porous, elastic, thick hair whether it is on an African-American woman, a Caucasian woman, a Native American woman, an Asian woman, a Latina woman...you get the picture.

Now, you may have a genetic predisposition to have a certain type of hair based upon your ethnic background. African-American women often have much finer hair and a much tighter wave pattern than women from other ethnic backgrounds. Asian and Native American women can be so coarse and stick-straight, cutting their hair is a huge challenge because every slice of the shears can leave a visible mark. But there is no guarantee your hair will follow a certain pattern just because you belong to a particular ethnic group. I have African-American clients with loose waves and medium texture; I have white clients with coarse hair and extremely tight coils. And that's just the way it is.

That's not to say we shouldn't take pride in ourselves and where we come from, or not seek advice from others who share the same culture as we do! But by realizing that "ethnic hair" truly doesn't exist and knowing that our particular hair type is the key to taking the best care we can of our curls...we will always have those red carpet ringlets, no matter what our ethnic backgrounds.


If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to subscribe to The Silky Chronicles. To find out more information on Ms. Tiffany Anderson, check her out on her blog - Live Curly, Live Free.