"Holy Grail" Hair Day #2

Good Friday morning family!

Yes I know what you're thinking..."two post in one week...something must be up". Lol. YES SOMETHING IS UP...I had yet another "holy grail" like day with my hair this morning. Plus I was totally feeling myself as well (cue top model photo in 3 2 ----------------->).

Before I go into the toiling details of how I got this lovely style, I think today is a good lesson for all us women (natural or not...for I have diversity on my blog). You have to love yourself first before anyone else can. While others may see you as being full of yourself, now and then we need to look in the mirror and compliment ourselves. I am a firm believer that we need to speak over our lives and speak positiveness over ourselves and those we love (as well). God created us in his image....remember that.

Considering I am marking this post as my second ever "holy grail" hair day, of course I had to share with my blog family. You all are the reason I keep going with my hair....lol....no seriously. As for the routine, its the same as always. KBB's products are always used and I style once a week and utilize protective styling techniques to keep the hair moisturized and healthy in these cold months. To read about the products I use, click here and for my current routine, click here. I keep saying I am going to post my current regimen...but to be honest with you, it has changed since the above posting. I am using the same products that I've always used and I continue to sleep with a satin cap; along with be diligent in staying out of my hair on a day to day basis. Lol.

I absolutely love this clip in my head. To match it, I also purchased some dangling earrings (shown in pic) and a "blinged out" wanna ring. Family I have been trying for at least 6 months to properly install and rock this clip correctly. If I could not get the hair in the actual clip, it was lop sided, sticking out or just fall the heck out. I mean the list goes on and on with the drama I was having with this hair candy. WELL, clearly today was my day because as you will see it actually is in the right place AND so far it hasn't fallen out of my head (while in the middle of a meeting or presenting). I love the front side pull and clip look. With my type of hair (4A/B), to me its a real cute after 5 and professional look. I hope you all will think the same. Enough talk, below are the pictures. Please share your thoughts......

( I finally got that darn sparkly clip on the side of my head CORRECTLY...baby steps family..lol)


(the softer side of Silky....)

Bitterness.....Not a Good Look

This is a touchy subject for me. As someone who has worked for the last two years to rid my soul of anguish and grudges, I have found that it is a daily struggle to make sure you are not harboring feelings of bitterness, which in turn will make you a cold person and stunt your progress. While I'm a work in progress (like we all are), I thought I would again post an oldie but goodie on the affects of bitterness on ones life. Big shout out to my lil sis for bringing somethings to my attention...so I can be a better big sister and child of God. Hope this blesses you as it did me....




How Bitterness Affects Us
by: Charles F. Stanley

http://www.intouch.org/site/c.cnKBIPNuEoG/b.4951651/apps/s/content.asp?ct=6701837


Do you become critical of certain people the moment their names are mentioned? Is there anyone in your past upon whom you would enjoy taking revenge? Did somebody reject you years ago in such a way that still hurts when you think about it?




If you answered ?yes? to any of these questions, you might be harboring unforgiveness. The Bible warns us not to allow resentment to get a foothold in our lives. The book of Hebrews tells us to ?see to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled? (Heb. 12:15).



For the believer, resentment is never the right response to suffering, no matter what people have done to us. We may not even be consciously aware that we are nursing bitterness, but its consequences are subtle and many.



Physical Illnesses

Bitterness is like a continually running machine that uses our bodies for its energy source. Medical professionals consistently are finding links between the way our bodies function and the way we think. Resentment, anger, and other negative emotions have been associated with glandular problems, high blood pressure, cardiac disorders, ulcers and a host of other physical ailments.



I saw this illustrated through some friends of mine whom I will call the Browns. Mrs. Brown had cancer, so she and her husband sought the best medical treatment. Her doctor had been studying the relationship between negative emotions and cancer. Day after day, he went to talk to her about her past. One day, in the midst of their conversation, she began to cry. She confessed bitterness towards her parents that had happened years ago. When she got it all out, she was freed, liberated and forgiven. It is the doctor?s opinion that Mrs. Brown would not have recovered had she not rid herself of that resentment.



Stained Relationships

Bitterness causes one person trouble and defiles others. As used in Hebrews 12:15, the Greek word for defile (miaino) means ?to stain? or ?to dye.? The resentment we harbor will stain our relationships. This is one reason why there are so many separations, divorces and broken homes.



One couple I counseled illustrates this principle. Despite the wife?s best attempts to love her husband, she couldn?t break through his hardened emotional wall. Through counseling, we discovered that he couldn?t forgive his mother for dying when he was twelve. He was mad at his mother for leaving him, and his anger was staining his marriage.



Bitterness can paralyze us.
Even when we genuinely want to love another person, we can?t. Spouses, parents and children wonder why they can?t break through the barrier and experience genuine love. But deep inside, these people may find themselves infected by roots of anger and resentment, even simmering hatred.



Bitterness has so many little sprouts to it. Distrust is one of them. Insecurity is another. When the Bible says to ?see to it that ? no root of bitterness (springs) up,? it is because the consequences are so awesome and ongoing.



Spiritual Stumbling Blocks

Bitterness creates a cloak of guilt. We know we shouldn?t feel the way we do toward others, and we know God doesn?t want us to be full of resentment. We sense a barrier between God and ourselves and begin to doubt our salvation.



Bitterness also hinders our influence for Christ. What kind of Christian testimony can we have if we are resentful toward God and toward our neighbors? How can we convincingly talk to others about the forgiveness of God when we refuse to forgive those who have wronged us? When we allow bitterness to take over our lives, it spills over into the lives of those around us.



Ed and Nancy had a story book wedding, and they excitedly made plans for their family. They would have a boy and a girl. Sure enough, their firstborn was a boy. But the second pregnancy had complications, and the doctor told them this would be their last child. Unfortunately?from Nancy?s point of view?their second child was also a boy. Nancy couldn?t bring herself to love her younger child, blaming him for robbing her of the little girl she always wanted. Eventually, she divorced Ed for not understanding her and declined custody of either son. Her bitterness destroyed their small family.



How many of us harbor offenses? How many of us are angry adults because we don?t feel loved? We need to deal with negative feelings about those who have hurt or wronged us. An unforgiving spirit is a devastating attitude that none of us can afford. Determine today to let go of bitterness, and be set free to enjoy life again.



Adapted from "The Gift of Forgiveness" (1991)
Note: Read our Bible study, Winning over Bitterness, and learn how to find freedom from anger, resentment and unforgiveness.

Hey all,

I received the below inspiration on a different list serve. I hope you get inspired as it did for me. Be blessed

Simply being

In just one moment of simply being, is enough unique richness to echo for a thousand lifetimes. Open your mind, your heart and your senses, and feel the warm, peaceful treasure.

Beyond desire, beyond need, is the beauty that is always here. Gently settle into the all-encompassing abundance.

There is a great fortune that is already yours. To touch it and make magnificent use of it, just be truly thankful for this moment you have in which to be.

What you are tempted to worry about is nothing compared to what you have and what you can do. The limitless abundance of being is here and now, today.

Feel fully the incomparable feeling of life in all its endless variety. Ride the delightful, refreshing waves of possibility.

In this beautiful moment, you are. Here, now, live your great fortune.

-- Ralph Marston

The Issue of Health Care Reform...and then some

Family I just wanted to briefly weigh in on last nights address to Congress and the nation. If you haven't had a chance to watch it, I'm sure its posted on youtube or someone media site....check it out.

I know the news media and blogs are burning up with EVERYONE'S views on Health Care, so I don't want to bared you all with yet another post on the issue and last nights events....but I do want to leave you with a few action items/thoughts:

+ Knowledge is power and you need to be in the know. Stay abreast of the current events and have a voice where you deem it appropriate (and YES YOU CAN have a voice)

+ House Divided = EPIC FAILURE - I truly feel that the division in Congress will not help our country, but hinder us for putting America back on track. Propoganda, racism, hatred and disrespect on ALL ENDS hurt the cause, not help. Be apart of the solution not the problem.

+ Become familiar with the proposed health care reform plan that is on the table in Congress (click here)

+ HOLD YOUR ELECTED OFFICIAL ACCOUNTABLE!!!! If you have not weighed in on this debate, do so and let you state representatives know how you feel. To locate your state representative, click here.

I do have faith in our government, and I believe that people with different views can come together for the good of the group and make history. Let's keep our leaders in our prayers, but also do our part. Spread the word on the bill being proposed, lets do our own homework and put pressure on our officials to be about the business of THE PEOPLE for we are the ones that put them in office.

The orAKAle has spoken....

Adult Acne (pt. 2) - Healing the Natural Way

As promised in part one of Adult Acne, below are some NATURAL ways to battle and heal your self from acne.

Do you know that YOU can assist in controlling your acne, without breaking your bank account from purchasing numerous amounts of marketed facial creams and surgeries? Upon doing research, I learned of many vitamins and foods that your body can use to keep your skin evenly toned, hydrated and to naturally heal the aftermaths of acne caused blemishes. While we all know that putting healthier foods and supplements into the body can do wonders for you overall, I did not know that there are specific green veggies and vitamins that target acne and can help to increase the healing process.

Below is a nice long list of vitamins that help in controlling ones acne. I suggest that you take a look at the back of your vitamin bottle to see if you are getting your daily vitamin intake to combat your acne prone skin. Please consult with a doctor before trying any new vitamins or supplements outside of your normal routine:

Vitamin A (with carotenoids) - strengthens the protective tissue of the skin and prevents acne. It helps reduce sebum production. This vitamin is essential for the maintenance and repair of the tissue which the skin and mucous membranes are made of. Vitamin A is also a powerful antioxidant needed to rid your body of toxins. Did you know that a deficiency in vitamin A can actually cause acne? Recommended dosage to fight acne: 10,000 IU If you are pregnant, do not take more than 5000 IU.

Vitamin B Complex - help to maintain healthy skin tone. They are also helpful in relieving anxiety and stress. Stress can be a major player in causing acne. The B vitamins should always be taken together. The vitamins in the B complex are Thiamine, Riboflavin, Niacin (Nicotinic Acid, Niacinamide), Pantothenic Acid, Pyridoxine and Cyanocobalamin. Each one of these vitamins has a specific role in promoting healthy skin, as well as overall health.

• Thiamine (Vitamin B1) acts as an antioxidant ridding your body of toxins. It enhances circulation and assists in proper digestion. Recommended dosage to fight acne: 100 mg 3 times daily.

• Riboflavin (Vitamin B2) Riboflavin works together with Vitamin A to maintain and improve the mucous membranes in the digestive tract. It is also essential for healthy skin, hair and nails. Acne is a symptom of Riboflavin deficiency. Recommended dosage to fight acne: 100 mg 3 times daily.

• Niacinamide (Vitamin B3) is vital for healthy skin by improving circulation and helping your body with the metabolism of carbohydrates, fats and proteins. A deficiency in Niacinamide will cause acne. Recommended dosage to fight acne: 200 mg 3 times daily.

• Pantothenic Acid (Vitamin B5) is popular for reducing stress. It is needed for the proper function of the adrenal glands. Recommended dosage to fight acne: 100 mg 3 times daily.

• Pyridoxine (Vitamin B6) is important in the functioning of your immune system and your antibody production. A deficiency of vitamin B6 can result in acne. Recommended dosage to fight acne: 100 mg 3 times daily.

Vitamin C with bioflavonoids - is another "super vitamin". It is an antioxidant that is required for at least 300 metabolic functions in the body, including tissue growth and repair.Vitamin C protects against infection and enhances immunity. Bioflavanoids have an antibacterial effect. Recommended dosage to fight acne: 1000 to 1600 mg 3 times daily If you have diabetes, ask your doctor about the proper dosage.

Chromium - aids in reducing infections of the skin. To get the adequate amount of chromium in your diet, chromium should be taken in supplemental form called chromium picolinate or chromium polynicotinate. Chances are you are chromium deficient because the form of chromium in foods is not easily absorbed and is lost during processing; and high quantities of sugar in the diet cause a loss of chromium from the body. Recommended dosage to fight acne: 150 mcg per day.

Zinc - aids in healing of the tissues and helps prevent scarring. It helps prevent acne by regulating the activity of the oil glands. Zinc promotes a healthy immune system and the healing of wounds. It is also an antioxidant which helps to fight and prevent the formation of free radicals. Acne can be a sign of Zinc deficiency. Recommended dosage to fight acne: 25-30mg per day.

Vitamin E - an antioxidant that enhances healing and tissue repair. It prevents cell damage by inhibiting the oxidation of lipids (fats) and the formation of free radicals. Recommended dosage to fight acne: 400 IU daily.

Here is a list of foods that help to prevent acne as well. I've tried some of these, but can not guarantee if your skin will be effected by these foods. As always, consult with a doctor before eating anything new (outside of your normal routine) if you are not sure how you may react:

1. Organic Green Tea - This is rich in an anti-inflammatory chemical called catechins, which helps to combat free radicals and prevent fine lines.
2. Olive oil - good monounsaturated fats like olive or sesame oil contain essential fatty acids that are needed for good health. Fats are an integral part of cell membranes and will help to nourish the skin and give it an inner glow.
3. Walnuts - They are rich in omega-3 oils, another powerful antioxidant that helps to keep the skin plump and flexible. Omega-3 oils are also found in oily fish such as salmon, or in flaxseed oil.
4. Berries - Blueberries, raspberries, cranberries are all rich in phytochemicals that are protective of skin cells. You can't get the same results though, from frozen or preserved fruit.
5. Lemon Juice - It's a natural bleach and can be used to fade sunspots and freckles. Put a slice of lemon over the spot and leave it for 10 minutes everyday for a week, or exfoliate by rubbing a cut lemon and half a teaspoon of granulated sugar over the skin for a few minutes. Be careful not to get any lemon in your eyes and stop immediately if you get a bad reaction as some people have extremely sensitive skin.
6. Watermelon - Some people believe that rubbing their faces with the rind of a watermelon will give them beautiful skin.There is plenty of truth to this, as the pulp of the fruit is a good exfoliant and watermelon is rich in vitamins A, B and C. The fruit contains a lot of water which serves to hydrate the skin and the gentle massaging action will stimulate lymphatic drainage.
7. Low-Fat Dairy Products - One the most important components of skin health is vitamin A. One of the best places to get it is low-fat dairy products. In fact, experts say that the health of our skin cells is dependent on dietary vitamin A.
8. Whole-Wheat Bread, Cereals and Brazil nuts - Dietary selenium comes from nuts, cereals, meat, fish, and eggs. Brazil nuts are the richest ordinary dietary source. The mineral selenium connects all these foods for healthy skin. Experts say selenium plays a key role in the health of skin cells. Some studies show that even skin damaged by the sun may suffer fewer consequences if selenium levels are high.
9. Yogurt - Yogurt is a very important natural beauty aid. Apply yogurt on the face every morning. Wash it off after a few minutes with cold water. This will keep the complexion smooth, healthy and fresh. A mixture of yogurt and lemon juice is ideal for softening hands.
10. Water - While the exact amount you should drink each day varies, no one disputes the role good hydration plays in keeping skin looking healthy and even young. When that hydration comes from pure, clean water - not liquids such as soda or even soup - experts say skin cells rejoice.

I hope the information in this series has been helpful and let me know your acne secrets (if you have any). Lol. The orAKALe has spoken.....



For further research, check out the below sources on more tips and strategies to combat adult acne:
About.com: Holistic Healing
Acne Care Tips

Dry Twist Set

To bring some diversity to my blog on natural hair, I wanted to share a quick post on a DIFFERENT type of twisting I also use. Its called a dry twist set (which eventually turns into a twist out...but I will go more into that below). This is a style that many natural hair stylist does for those transitioning, but can also work with total naturalistas as well!



To get this look all I did was cleanse my hair as usual (check out "Current Hair Regimen" for specifics) but instead of double strand twist while hair is wet/soaked, I actually blow out my hair. The key is to get it totally dry and as "straight" as your texture can get. I highly recommend you seal your hair (after blowing out) with a very light oil/moisturizer to protect the hair. I use my staple product Shea Butter.



I take my favorite twisting product (in the pictures below I used a mixture of unrefined shea butter, coconut oil and olive oil) and put a medium amount all over the head.....and I start twisting. I only use more product if I think my twist aren't taking....but usually I have no issues. Below are the results of dry twisting the hair:




My sister actually did this one for me! I gotta be economical ya'll...we are in a recession (ok I will let it go...lol). Not bad for an amateur job huh.......



I've learned that the key is to evenly distribute the twisting product (not much is needed) from root to ends (then possible using a little more for my "special" ends) and twist as close as possible to the root down to the ends. Depending on your skills and length of your hair, this can take from 30-45 minutes to complete. Professional stylist can do this for you as well, but it may run you from $55-100!!!! I suggest mastering this on your own. Lol.


I usually wear my hair in these twists for at least a week (max two). After wards I take either my favorite essential oils to separate out the twist into two parts. To see pictures of the results of this style, check out my Current Hair Regimen post pics here.


So your girl is getting braided up this weekend for the next 2-3 months. I will post some pics of the outcome next week (hopefully). Once the braids come out, I will be at my 1 year Nappaversary (is that a word....lol)!!! I'm very excited to see how far I've come in the past 12 months, and plan to do a tribute post to my success.


For those who've been asking, I plan to seriously update my Fotki (Ms. Silky Coils if you want to subscribe) REALLY soon! Lol. I guess since starting this blog, I don't see a need to have that account, for I post all updates and styles (that I can remember to do) on here. I mean....who has time to really update 3-4 different sites...lol...I sure don't.


the orAKAle has spoken.......

Hair Myths - Holy Grail & "Ethnic Hair"

Hey family! With keeping my promise of providing more information on natural hair topics, I came across a GREAT post from hair stylist and curly hair expert Tiffany Anderson. This article speaks mountains for us coily, curly and kinky sistas of all shapes and colors. Don't be fooled and stop running around sounding crazy....there is no such thing as "the holy grail" curls. Read and learn...I sure did :)

Hair Myths?

We now interrupt this blog for two small conversations that will most likely result in having lots of things thrown at me...or a collective belief that I have gone over the edge and no longer have the slightest idea what I'm talking about.

But as I've said before...I am not nor will I ever be 100% right 100% of the time. My thoughts, posts and advice are based on what I believe and observe from my professional training and my professional career as a hair stylist and curly hair specialist. If it works for someone, that's great. If it doesn't and something else works better, then that's great too. But I'm largely Italian, which means I'm always going to open my mouth when I have something to say, LOL. And there have been two topics on my mind lately I feel I need to address.

#1 - There is No Such Thing as "The Holy Grail"
Many curly girls get obsessed with finding what is known among us as "The Holy Grail" for their curls - that mythical, miraculous, one-of-a-kind, priceless treasure of a product that will give us impeccable, frizz-free, red carpet curls--the kind that always snap back into perfect ringlets even in the worst rain, hail, humidity, sleet and hurricane-force winds known to mankind.

The good Lord knows, I was on an HG quest myself for eons and there are times I still find myself falling into that trap. Even when I find a product combination that makes me look great 99% of the time, I'll catch myself thinking: sure, my curls look great...but what if I stop looking now and that one great product--that one single elixir of magical fairy tales--is just over the hill? And what if I never find it because I was happy with "second best" and I stopped looking too soon? It was enough to drive any curly girl to drink.

It was with a mixture of relief and sadness that I finally came to the conclusion--after doing hundreds and hundreds of curly heads, and studying reams of information on hair type and product ingredients--that, despite our greatest hopes and wishes, that mythical "Holy Grail"

just. doesn't. exist.

Yes, there are products that are great for our hair and will work wonders the vast majority of the time, sometimes even 99% of the time. There are products with ingredients that love our particular hair type--our texture, our porosity, our elasticity--and will make our curls look the absolute best they can possibly be.

For a time.

But ...

Hair type changes over time. Texture changes, porosity changes, elasticity changes. Weather changes. The chemical composition of your water changes. Hormones change. Medical conditions change. If there is one thing we can count on in the crazy world of curly hair, it is change. And that means no product is going to work 100% the best 100% of the time.

The same product might work almost as great, but from the bottom of my heart I do not and will never believe one single product can unfailingly give you what I call "red carpet curls"...the perfect, rockin' kind of curls that make any Hollywood A-lister turn around and think jealously, "I want HER hair." Unless you live in an environment and in a body where absolutely nothing changes, the Holy Grail will have to remain the myth it is.

Incidentally, that's why it is all the more important to understand your hair type and your environment and, subsequently, what product ingredients work the best for your particular situation. There might not be a single Holy Grail...but that doesn't mean there can't be a foundational core of products that act in tandem with each other to give you red carpet curls all the time.

#2 - There is No Such Thing as "Ethnic Hair"
Didn't see that one coming, did you?

I get a lot of questions on whether or not I know how to handle "ethnic hair" or about the special needs of ethnic hair. And I'm here to tell you there is no such thing. Hair is hair is hair. Period.

Your hair is fine, medium or coarse. Your hair is porous, overly porous, or has low porosity. Your hair has normal elasticity or low elasticity. Your hair is thin, medium or thick. It does not matter what your ethnic background is. Fine, porous, elastic, thick hair is fine, porous, elastic, thick hair whether it is on an African-American woman, a Caucasian woman, a Native American woman, an Asian woman, a Latina woman...you get the picture.

Now, you may have a genetic predisposition to have a certain type of hair based upon your ethnic background. African-American women often have much finer hair and a much tighter wave pattern than women from other ethnic backgrounds. Asian and Native American women can be so coarse and stick-straight, cutting their hair is a huge challenge because every slice of the shears can leave a visible mark. But there is no guarantee your hair will follow a certain pattern just because you belong to a particular ethnic group. I have African-American clients with loose waves and medium texture; I have white clients with coarse hair and extremely tight coils. And that's just the way it is.

That's not to say we shouldn't take pride in ourselves and where we come from, or not seek advice from others who share the same culture as we do! But by realizing that "ethnic hair" truly doesn't exist and knowing that our particular hair type is the key to taking the best care we can of our curls...we will always have those red carpet ringlets, no matter what our ethnic backgrounds.


If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to subscribe to The Silky Chronicles. To find out more information on Ms. Tiffany Anderson, check her out on her blog - Live Curly, Live Free.