"Twist N Curl"...the Silky Way

Greetings from Silky's world family! How was the weekend? Mine was a long and restful one. My vacation almost took me out, but I survived. Pictures from France will be forthcoming soon (FYI).

Today I need your assistance. I recently did a "twist n curl" and to be frank...I'm not to thrilled with the results. This will be the third attempt in this style, but something still isn't right. Now I am not one of those people who looks at other's results (of hair styles) and expect mine to look the same....thats not me. BUT I at least expect to like the results of my 4A/B hair. Lol. Below is step by step of what I did:

~ Cleansed hair with KBB's Conditioning Shampoo
~ Deep Treatment with KBB's Deep Conditioner (left that on.....for at least 45 minutes...started cleaning and cooking and lost track of time honestly...lol)
~ Rinsed and detangled with KBB's Hair Milk (loves this stuff)
~ Parted hair accordingly, twisted with KBB's Hair Cream and set on perm rodes.
~ Lastly I sealed the hair (and especially ends) with my shea butter, coconut and olive oil concoction.

Upon taking out the rodes and styling the hair, coils were very soft and manageable...but I am just not pleased (persay) with how it looks. I tried my best to make sure I twisted and rolled each section the same way. Below are pics of my results family. The top two are the first attempt and the second two are my final results. After awhile, I just gave up. Lol. The back shot is really good...which lets me know that it looks moisterized and bouncy...from the back. The front look is not what I was trying to create.

My hair still had separations from the twists...had a hard time getting rid of the scalp, etc....its was too much drama for 6 am in the morning. So what am I doing wrong my experienced natural divas? Any tips to offer to this naturalista?

Naturality is NOT a life style.....or is it

(one of my fav natural hair photos)=====>

Hey Silky Chronicles family! Quick post/question for you today..... So I know a natural hair stylist who was discussing with one of her clients (a friend of mine) about being natural and this thing of it being a "life style". Her comments in general were that being natural is NOT a life style and people make it seem as though its like "coming out" to the world (in reference to those who identify themselves in the GLBT community). What she couldn't understand is all the hype on the web (really blogs like this one :) and some salons (in general) on the NEW phenomenon about going natural and embracing this "life style". She actually laughed at it and thought it was funny. See in her mind, we should not make a big deal about not straightening our hair, using chemicals/heat, etc...for its not anything new. Black women have been natural for years and this concept of "going natural" is really mainstream right now, but not anything deserving of all the attention its getting....

First let me say, she is not being negative by any means. She thinks its great to see more people embrace the texture God blessed them with and begin to stop letting others dictate who they should be. Its just that it was felt (not only by her....for I surveyed other natural women) that the blogging about hair, the huge media discussions on many talk shows (Chris Rock's movie "Good Hair") and the overwhelming promotion of products/what to and not to do is a bit much and uncessary.

What does Silky Coils say.....I think you all know the answer to that question. Lol. If you read back in previous post on here, it is evident that deciding to become natural was not a small thing for me; nor has continuing to grow and learn with my hair been easy. To me, it was scary and if I did not get comfortable about who I was FIRST, I was going to continue to allow others and society to dictate how I should look. Stepping out in public when I chopped my hair off was one of the most liberating, but also scary moments of my life...similar to when someone who decides to let the world know that they prefer the same sex versus the opposite. Some will have your back, others will persecute you....REAL TALK!!!

So of course I wanted to get my family to weigh in on the subject. You all have been so supportive of me and are filled with much wisdom. What do you all think? Are we making to much of a big deal about this whole "natural" thing? Is this a fade that will soon pass? Are we so insecure about who we are that we had to create this "natural hair world" thing to feel better about ourselves....your thoughts????

The orAKAle has spoken..........

Bitterness.....Not a Good Look

This is a touchy subject for me. As someone who has worked for the last two years to rid my soul of anguish and grudges, I have found that it is a daily struggle to make sure you are not harboring feelings of bitterness, which in turn will make you a cold person and stunt your progress. While I'm a work in progress (like we all are), I thought I would again post an oldie but goodie on the affects of bitterness on ones life. Big shout out to my lil sis for bringing somethings to my attention...so I can be a better big sister and child of God. Hope this blesses you as it did me....




How Bitterness Affects Us
by: Charles F. Stanley

http://www.intouch.org/site/c.cnKBIPNuEoG/b.4951651/apps/s/content.asp?ct=6701837


Do you become critical of certain people the moment their names are mentioned? Is there anyone in your past upon whom you would enjoy taking revenge? Did somebody reject you years ago in such a way that still hurts when you think about it?




If you answered ?yes? to any of these questions, you might be harboring unforgiveness. The Bible warns us not to allow resentment to get a foothold in our lives. The book of Hebrews tells us to ?see to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled? (Heb. 12:15).



For the believer, resentment is never the right response to suffering, no matter what people have done to us. We may not even be consciously aware that we are nursing bitterness, but its consequences are subtle and many.



Physical Illnesses

Bitterness is like a continually running machine that uses our bodies for its energy source. Medical professionals consistently are finding links between the way our bodies function and the way we think. Resentment, anger, and other negative emotions have been associated with glandular problems, high blood pressure, cardiac disorders, ulcers and a host of other physical ailments.



I saw this illustrated through some friends of mine whom I will call the Browns. Mrs. Brown had cancer, so she and her husband sought the best medical treatment. Her doctor had been studying the relationship between negative emotions and cancer. Day after day, he went to talk to her about her past. One day, in the midst of their conversation, she began to cry. She confessed bitterness towards her parents that had happened years ago. When she got it all out, she was freed, liberated and forgiven. It is the doctor?s opinion that Mrs. Brown would not have recovered had she not rid herself of that resentment.



Stained Relationships

Bitterness causes one person trouble and defiles others. As used in Hebrews 12:15, the Greek word for defile (miaino) means ?to stain? or ?to dye.? The resentment we harbor will stain our relationships. This is one reason why there are so many separations, divorces and broken homes.



One couple I counseled illustrates this principle. Despite the wife?s best attempts to love her husband, she couldn?t break through his hardened emotional wall. Through counseling, we discovered that he couldn?t forgive his mother for dying when he was twelve. He was mad at his mother for leaving him, and his anger was staining his marriage.



Bitterness can paralyze us.
Even when we genuinely want to love another person, we can?t. Spouses, parents and children wonder why they can?t break through the barrier and experience genuine love. But deep inside, these people may find themselves infected by roots of anger and resentment, even simmering hatred.



Bitterness has so many little sprouts to it. Distrust is one of them. Insecurity is another. When the Bible says to ?see to it that ? no root of bitterness (springs) up,? it is because the consequences are so awesome and ongoing.



Spiritual Stumbling Blocks

Bitterness creates a cloak of guilt. We know we shouldn?t feel the way we do toward others, and we know God doesn?t want us to be full of resentment. We sense a barrier between God and ourselves and begin to doubt our salvation.



Bitterness also hinders our influence for Christ. What kind of Christian testimony can we have if we are resentful toward God and toward our neighbors? How can we convincingly talk to others about the forgiveness of God when we refuse to forgive those who have wronged us? When we allow bitterness to take over our lives, it spills over into the lives of those around us.



Ed and Nancy had a story book wedding, and they excitedly made plans for their family. They would have a boy and a girl. Sure enough, their firstborn was a boy. But the second pregnancy had complications, and the doctor told them this would be their last child. Unfortunately?from Nancy?s point of view?their second child was also a boy. Nancy couldn?t bring herself to love her younger child, blaming him for robbing her of the little girl she always wanted. Eventually, she divorced Ed for not understanding her and declined custody of either son. Her bitterness destroyed their small family.



How many of us harbor offenses? How many of us are angry adults because we don?t feel loved? We need to deal with negative feelings about those who have hurt or wronged us. An unforgiving spirit is a devastating attitude that none of us can afford. Determine today to let go of bitterness, and be set free to enjoy life again.



Adapted from "The Gift of Forgiveness" (1991)
Note: Read our Bible study, Winning over Bitterness, and learn how to find freedom from anger, resentment and unforgiveness.

The Issue of Health Care Reform...and then some

Family I just wanted to briefly weigh in on last nights address to Congress and the nation. If you haven't had a chance to watch it, I'm sure its posted on youtube or someone media site....check it out.

I know the news media and blogs are burning up with EVERYONE'S views on Health Care, so I don't want to bared you all with yet another post on the issue and last nights events....but I do want to leave you with a few action items/thoughts:

+ Knowledge is power and you need to be in the know. Stay abreast of the current events and have a voice where you deem it appropriate (and YES YOU CAN have a voice)

+ House Divided = EPIC FAILURE - I truly feel that the division in Congress will not help our country, but hinder us for putting America back on track. Propoganda, racism, hatred and disrespect on ALL ENDS hurt the cause, not help. Be apart of the solution not the problem.

+ Become familiar with the proposed health care reform plan that is on the table in Congress (click here)

+ HOLD YOUR ELECTED OFFICIAL ACCOUNTABLE!!!! If you have not weighed in on this debate, do so and let you state representatives know how you feel. To locate your state representative, click here.

I do have faith in our government, and I believe that people with different views can come together for the good of the group and make history. Let's keep our leaders in our prayers, but also do our part. Spread the word on the bill being proposed, lets do our own homework and put pressure on our officials to be about the business of THE PEOPLE for we are the ones that put them in office.

The orAKAle has spoken....

In MY head...stuff I think about

Let me first say that this post is not being posted to demean or attack anyone. In no way am I referring to anyone one person in my life (professional or personal). I just have some questions /thoughts on my mind to speak on.....

Part of the purpose of me starting my blog was to share some of the thoughts going on in the orAKAle's head. I must admit that I had some reservations about even posting on this subject for it would give you the readers more insight into who I really am. But as always, with encouragement from those who care about me, I was moved to do so today.

Lately, I have been experiencing a lot of frustrations with my professional and personal life. These frustrations have been in the form of people, projects, personal disappointments, etc. In my young age, I've learned that we can be our hardest critic when it comes to personal achievement and success. Because of this, I really do try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I know that this world is filled with different people and we should be more open to being accepting and understanding of others (and those we interact with)....but....

How do you distinguish between being taken advantage of and giving people a chance?

When do we stop using our age as an excuse for not keeping our word?

When does age become a factor in sloppiness, selfishness, forgetfulness, etc?

How much does your home life REALLY effect the job performance you are paid for?

Where does the line between work and play get drawn?

When do WE stop playing the blame game and start taking responsibility for our own actions?

Can we control our own destiny?

Does everyone have the same opportunity as others?

(get where I am going with this?)

I know your probably thinking that the above questions are all over the place (and you would be right lol ), but the goal is to get you all inside of my head and what I think about sometimes on a daily basis. Does it have to be this difficult or deep...no...but due to my daily interactions (especially professionally) I have to ponder these questions, which ultimately lead me into wanting answers.

See I am not only a very visual person, but I also have a tendency to overall analyze situations (and that can be positive or negative depending on how you look at it). Doing this leads me to frustrating situations and/or "sweating the small stuff" (random comment - if you haven't added this book to your bookshelf, I highly recommend it. Great read!) through out the day. One of my goals for this year was to not do this as much for it is not healthy AND you can miss out on a lot going on around you...for we all know that life is to short to give others or circumstances the POWER to control your destiny/future.

So what do you all think? Am I over analyzing, or do I just need to find other ways of relieving my frustrations so they don't manifest into bigger (and sometimes health) issues? Comments are greatly appreciated family!

The orAKAle has spoken.......