Inspiring Others w/my Naturality

Hey blogger family....just a quick post for you all today. Had something great happen to me at church yesterday, and I wanted to share with the group and hopefully inspire you as well :)

Yesterday, after church, a fellow parishioner stopped me to compliment me on my hair. Apparently, she has been noticing my uniqueness and versatility with hair styles (that I wear on Sunday) and felt compelled to speak with me. She mentioned that she had been talking about my hair for a couple of weeks now and finally her husband suggested that she talks stops talking behind my back (that was funny) and just ask me about my hair, regimen, etc ( isn't that interesting family).

She wanted to know what I do to my hair to have it look the way it does. See, she "tried" to go natural a few months ago and it didn't work. She only allowed herself to transition for like 3 months and then she gave up...again... She was intrigued by my style and wanted to know specifically what I am doing to maneuver it AND what products I used. It sounded like she was on the fence with deciding to try to transition to naturality again, so it was only fair to pitch the case for going natural :)

So of course I did a consultation..right there in the church pew. Lol. I spoke briefly about my journey and how you have to be serious to commit to changing your hair regimen (mentioning that shea butter is my staple product) and patient with letting your natural hair grow and develop. This is a life decision (well at least in my opinion) and you have to make sure you will commit to the changes your hair (and you pschologically) will experience. I gave examples of how I wanted to give up and how I had to have a "straight talk" with myself, my ego and my self esteem. Once I was able to accept myself (and all my fabulousness) it became easier to learn how to do my hair, look in the mirror and walk with confidence. I spoke about how those around you may not support your decision, but you have to remind yourself that you are doing this for yourself, not others.

I mentioned that you can't "run to the perm" when your hair doesn't look the way you want it to (like she did before). Doing this starts the transition all over again and really defeats the purpose of the transition. You need to accept how God made you and your hair, love it unconditionally and nurture it ALWAYS....remembering we were all created in his image. I also mentioned that you have to give your hair time to heal and in the end you will not regret your decision of going natural.

I ended the discussion on some economically, but effective store brand options to get her started. Also, I suggested some possible transitional/protective styles that she can do at home. Briefly (because I had to go) I mentioned the fact that transitioning is trial and error...you may do a style that doesn't turn out the way you want at first...but don't fret....the neat thing is that you can try try again :). We agreed to do a "check in" the next time I'm at service/get back into town. As her unofficial mentor, I plan to check in with her once I return from my week of travel. Lets keep our possible transitional sista lifted.

The reason for posting this.....you never know who is watching you and also how your naturality could possibly inspire others. I know the majority of us get regular compliments on our hair, the styles and probably our confidence as well. While this may seem a little annoying (super star status..lol), you never know why you are receiving the compliments. This is the third person who has inquired about my naturality AND has been inspired to transition to wearing their natural hair just by watching me and how I carry myself. To be honest family, that makes me feel really good inside.

So I ask all of my family on here....are you inspiring others to be all they can be (in general)? Are you carrying yourself in away that others will want to model the same POSITIVE behavior that you portray? These are the questions I ask and reflect on daily as part of my overall encouragement but also improvement family. Its nice to see that my intentional attitude/character development (behavior) is working not only for my betterment, but has inspired someone else to do better as well.

The orAKAle has spoken.........

"Twist N Curl"...the Silky Way

Greetings from Silky's world family! How was the weekend? Mine was a long and restful one. My vacation almost took me out, but I survived. Pictures from France will be forthcoming soon (FYI).

Today I need your assistance. I recently did a "twist n curl" and to be frank...I'm not to thrilled with the results. This will be the third attempt in this style, but something still isn't right. Now I am not one of those people who looks at other's results (of hair styles) and expect mine to look the same....thats not me. BUT I at least expect to like the results of my 4A/B hair. Lol. Below is step by step of what I did:

~ Cleansed hair with KBB's Conditioning Shampoo
~ Deep Treatment with KBB's Deep Conditioner (left that on.....for at least 45 minutes...started cleaning and cooking and lost track of time honestly...lol)
~ Rinsed and detangled with KBB's Hair Milk (loves this stuff)
~ Parted hair accordingly, twisted with KBB's Hair Cream and set on perm rodes.
~ Lastly I sealed the hair (and especially ends) with my shea butter, coconut and olive oil concoction.

Upon taking out the rodes and styling the hair, coils were very soft and manageable...but I am just not pleased (persay) with how it looks. I tried my best to make sure I twisted and rolled each section the same way. Below are pics of my results family. The top two are the first attempt and the second two are my final results. After awhile, I just gave up. Lol. The back shot is really good...which lets me know that it looks moisterized and bouncy...from the back. The front look is not what I was trying to create.

My hair still had separations from the twists...had a hard time getting rid of the scalp, etc....its was too much drama for 6 am in the morning. So what am I doing wrong my experienced natural divas? Any tips to offer to this naturalista?

50 Followers - Thanks to YOU family!

Happy post Christmas Family! I hope you didn't indulge to much for the holidays (well...I did...lol).

Quick post for you all, first - I plan to do the lemonade diet to cleanse my soul, body and mind for the new year. Take a look at my weight management blog for details, to follow and to track my progress here ===========> "Weighing In On Health"

Secondly to say CONGRATULATIONS to THE SILKY CHRONICLES blog! Why you may ask...well take a look to the follower count to the right and you will see! I hit 50 followers/family members on this here blog. I'm uber excited about this goal and want to thank YOU the readers for making it happen. I never meant for this blog to be even this much success, but I am so humbled and greatful for the love all of you have shown me.

I look forward to a great and prosperous year for ALL and hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend!

The orAKAle has spoken......

Its my Nappaversary!

( DUDE my fro is huge)

A year ago on this date (well actually it was more like on November 13th), I decided to chop my hair off and start over. Lol. After about 8 months of transitioning (which was suppose to be longer...but I digress), I removed my first set of braids and had at it (with the scissors). Lol.

When I think back to my first initial response to my new look, I remember having thoughts of doubts and even wanting to cry. "What have I done" is a phrase that I remember saying over an over. See like most newbies, I was not totally sure of what I was getting myself into, but couldn't turn back..not now. After the support and love of many of you who follow me AND have their own blog at that, the journey became easier and a very liberating decision. To this date, I don't understand why I even doubted myself AND my natural black beauty.

At first, my family was a little shocked. Some snide comments here and there and a lot staring. Fast forward to the present day...nothing but compliments (even from those none nappy headed lovers). I have even had family members asking me how to help their children hair be as healthy and soft besides using the relaxer/perm method.....for convenience, manageability and cost savings....HA....who would have guest that.

Its amazing how one person can spark a new appreciation of what it means to be black AND what is beauty. This right here is why I decided to let go of the chemicals and heat. To be a beacon of hope and inspiration to all my naturalistas (especially my 4 A/C divas); that its ok to let your TRUE beauty shine threw when it comes to hair AND that you don't need to have it straightened to be accepted.

This journey has been a humbling one for me, and I am so thankful and appreciative that God had me embark on this journey now at this age, versus earlier (or later). Below are more pics I took to commemorate my new hair, looks and length to you...my family.

( ok so I was in the car trying to motivate myself to go into Walmart to shop...it was crazy)



( this is my favorite look)

To each of you, thank you so much for your love and support of me. More styles to come for you family.....

Bitterness.....Not a Good Look

This is a touchy subject for me. As someone who has worked for the last two years to rid my soul of anguish and grudges, I have found that it is a daily struggle to make sure you are not harboring feelings of bitterness, which in turn will make you a cold person and stunt your progress. While I'm a work in progress (like we all are), I thought I would again post an oldie but goodie on the affects of bitterness on ones life. Big shout out to my lil sis for bringing somethings to my attention...so I can be a better big sister and child of God. Hope this blesses you as it did me....




How Bitterness Affects Us
by: Charles F. Stanley

http://www.intouch.org/site/c.cnKBIPNuEoG/b.4951651/apps/s/content.asp?ct=6701837


Do you become critical of certain people the moment their names are mentioned? Is there anyone in your past upon whom you would enjoy taking revenge? Did somebody reject you years ago in such a way that still hurts when you think about it?




If you answered ?yes? to any of these questions, you might be harboring unforgiveness. The Bible warns us not to allow resentment to get a foothold in our lives. The book of Hebrews tells us to ?see to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled? (Heb. 12:15).



For the believer, resentment is never the right response to suffering, no matter what people have done to us. We may not even be consciously aware that we are nursing bitterness, but its consequences are subtle and many.



Physical Illnesses

Bitterness is like a continually running machine that uses our bodies for its energy source. Medical professionals consistently are finding links between the way our bodies function and the way we think. Resentment, anger, and other negative emotions have been associated with glandular problems, high blood pressure, cardiac disorders, ulcers and a host of other physical ailments.



I saw this illustrated through some friends of mine whom I will call the Browns. Mrs. Brown had cancer, so she and her husband sought the best medical treatment. Her doctor had been studying the relationship between negative emotions and cancer. Day after day, he went to talk to her about her past. One day, in the midst of their conversation, she began to cry. She confessed bitterness towards her parents that had happened years ago. When she got it all out, she was freed, liberated and forgiven. It is the doctor?s opinion that Mrs. Brown would not have recovered had she not rid herself of that resentment.



Stained Relationships

Bitterness causes one person trouble and defiles others. As used in Hebrews 12:15, the Greek word for defile (miaino) means ?to stain? or ?to dye.? The resentment we harbor will stain our relationships. This is one reason why there are so many separations, divorces and broken homes.



One couple I counseled illustrates this principle. Despite the wife?s best attempts to love her husband, she couldn?t break through his hardened emotional wall. Through counseling, we discovered that he couldn?t forgive his mother for dying when he was twelve. He was mad at his mother for leaving him, and his anger was staining his marriage.



Bitterness can paralyze us.
Even when we genuinely want to love another person, we can?t. Spouses, parents and children wonder why they can?t break through the barrier and experience genuine love. But deep inside, these people may find themselves infected by roots of anger and resentment, even simmering hatred.



Bitterness has so many little sprouts to it. Distrust is one of them. Insecurity is another. When the Bible says to ?see to it that ? no root of bitterness (springs) up,? it is because the consequences are so awesome and ongoing.



Spiritual Stumbling Blocks

Bitterness creates a cloak of guilt. We know we shouldn?t feel the way we do toward others, and we know God doesn?t want us to be full of resentment. We sense a barrier between God and ourselves and begin to doubt our salvation.



Bitterness also hinders our influence for Christ. What kind of Christian testimony can we have if we are resentful toward God and toward our neighbors? How can we convincingly talk to others about the forgiveness of God when we refuse to forgive those who have wronged us? When we allow bitterness to take over our lives, it spills over into the lives of those around us.



Ed and Nancy had a story book wedding, and they excitedly made plans for their family. They would have a boy and a girl. Sure enough, their firstborn was a boy. But the second pregnancy had complications, and the doctor told them this would be their last child. Unfortunately?from Nancy?s point of view?their second child was also a boy. Nancy couldn?t bring herself to love her younger child, blaming him for robbing her of the little girl she always wanted. Eventually, she divorced Ed for not understanding her and declined custody of either son. Her bitterness destroyed their small family.



How many of us harbor offenses? How many of us are angry adults because we don?t feel loved? We need to deal with negative feelings about those who have hurt or wronged us. An unforgiving spirit is a devastating attitude that none of us can afford. Determine today to let go of bitterness, and be set free to enjoy life again.



Adapted from "The Gift of Forgiveness" (1991)
Note: Read our Bible study, Winning over Bitterness, and learn how to find freedom from anger, resentment and unforgiveness.